Aloe

USA Today thinks they're so fucking clever because they found a legit word that has three vowels... well you know what, USA Today? Aloe is only original the first time you use it, maybe the second, but that's only if you don't use it for like four months and then you decide to use it again. But three times in a week? Really USA Today? You can't come up with another fucking word?

And just because you change the clues around doesn't mean it's okay to use the same word over and over again. "Soothing plant" and "Plant that soothes" are the same fucking clue. I'm looking forward to the crossword that's just the word Aloe over and over again. Does your editor always get sunburned? Is that the reason you love Aloe so much? Or is it because you're my mom and you think I should put aloe on my skin even when I'm not even burned.

Whatever the reason, you're not clever USA Today. And your prejudiced unoriginal puzzles make me vomit more than a vegetarian at AppleBees.

I got the fucking answers to the theme below

Puzzle Theme: Things I shouldn't have said and the repercussions that followed because I mentioned said thing.

8 Across (A): ridiculousshoewidths

12 Down (A): EEEs

27 Across (A): tiedupinmybasement

35 Across (A): dickcheneyhelp

47 Across (A): feetaswideasdrus

I got a fucking theme for you USA Today crossword editor...

Puzzle Theme: Things I shouldn't have said and the repercussions that followed because I mentioned said thing.

8 Across: Clue I shouldn't have written on May 27th (20)

12 Down: Answer to clue on 8 across (4)

27 Across: Where I am now (18)

35 Across: The man that the handsome wide footed gentleman introduced me to just now (14)

47 Across: What I wish I had (16)

2 Down

The clue this morning for 2 down: "Ridiculous Shoe Widths (4)"

The answer: "EEEs"

Hey USA Today, my shoe width is 4E, so FUCK YOU!

I can't believe that even my crossword patronizes me.

I think a better clue for 2 down this morning would be this:

"A slightly narrower shoe size describing the shoe that kicked my ass this morning."